Now I drink my coffee black!

December 24, 2019September 25, 2020 | P Bee

We talked for hours on matter so flak,

And… today I am surly for no reason and I hate everyone,

But cut me some slack,

I just wanna say that now I drink my coffee black!!

You made yourself interesting and kept coming back,

With moon in your eyes and great conversations to the sack,

And, today, i sleep without the words and with the cold on my back,

I just wanna say that now i drink my coffee black!!

I listen on loop to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ track,

When i bake, or bathe, or swim, or heck, even read a women’s mag,

I go back to how you made me feel with all of that,

I just want to say that now i drink my coffee black!!!

I woke up to your ‘goodmornings’ and slept to your ‘goodnights’,

Those 140 characters were enough then to keep us on track,

But, today all the 26 letters of the alphabets can’t weave us back,

I just wanna say that now this tea lover drinks her coffee black!!!

Words!!!

May 18, 2019May 18, 2019 | P Bee

Save my words…, save them gems…,
I will wait patiently until you return them,
Simmering, searing and inching slowly towards your heart,
Where they were planted and being nurtured from our start!

There are ugly ghosts of silence waiting to exhume you in its fear,
Silence though safe, festers and takes many unsightly, grotesque shapes,
Eroding, exploding but forever changing are these words,
Words which takes courage but help change the energy of a space!

Words calm, and they heal, words inspire, words they peel
The layers of the ‘what ifs’, the ‘hows’ and the ‘whys’,
Brings clarity and purity of thoughts to the fore,
And makes you aware of someone else’s lows and their highs!

When the clouds tear and vociferously opens up,
Falling viscerally on the parched silt, albeit with a purpose,
It is as if to say- “Here, take me in, this is all I have,
My words are all that I bring- to love, to heal and to make you feel every inch of your dermis!

Ma… My First!

May 12, 2019May 14, 2019 | P Bee

Ma, you were my first…

My first love, my first friend, my first teacher,

You were the quiet force which shaped me,

You gave me faith and made me a believer!

To believe in all that is good and wonderful,

See the world always with an optimistic lens,

Always catching me when i tumbled and fell,

Coaxing to keep my heart open, even whilst the darkness was dense!

Maybe you had your challenges,

But you never broke a sweat,

You never let it be known to us,

How much you would have also liked to fret!

You are my anchor, my voice of reason,

And I love you like no other,

And I am grateful everyday that it is only you-

Who’s my first and whom I am blessed to have as my mother!!!

Imagine

March 19, 2019March 26, 2019 | P Bee

Imagine a parallel verse where you and I would meet,

With you there’s nothing else I would need,

Nothing else, just our books and our silly whimsical laughs,

Just our books and our music; our breaths and arms,

Just our books and movies, our entwined fingers and mellow hearts!

Imagine where our silences will speak volumes,

And our quiet will comfort each other’s space,

Where our texts will change form to spoken words,

And where the phone’s emoji will have no place.

Imagine…

Imagine where your dream spirits will meet a soft pillow,

Where your sweaty thoughts can lay to rest without a kink in your brow,

Where moon beams upon your face with softness and stride,

Where breath becomes just that- easy, blissful and filled with respite.

Imagine that!!!

Love me, Love me not!

February 17, 2019February 27, 2019 | P Bee

There will be times, when you will love so much that your eyes will speak volumes,

And then, there will be other times when you will let your tired day, body and mind takeover that place of love.

Those are the times I’ll remind you as to why you loved in the first place,

But those are also the times you’ll have to leave your heart open,

Leave a small window open, heck, even a crack will be enough for me to pry it wide open.

You’ll breathe better and it will turn you into your loving self again,

But for me to make that happen, you’ll have to let your heart speak,

Don’t let it wilt & wither under the webbed honeycomb that’s in your head!!

Talking to the moon

February 12, 2019February 13, 2019 | P Bee

Talking to the moon

The moon keeps secrets,

I think she knows what I’m thinking too.

I look upon her face & dream of the morrow,

She looks down upon me & beseeches in sorrow.

“My dear, look at me”, she says. “You look sad”, she says,

“I am not”!! I say, quite convincingly.

It’s just a forlorn wind that lost its way & landed on my face,

Played with my hair, leading a wisp of strand astray.

And while I tuck that strand rather determinedly away behind my ears,

I face the moon with a smile & say, “Don’t worry, my story’s just beginning.

And you will bear witness as always while it unfolds,

Surreptitiously during the day under the bright shining sun, with you holding the evening.

Whole!!

January 31, 2019January 31, 2019 | P Bee

And the moon looked down at her and said- “You are too full of everything that make you whole to ever be loved in halves.”

And then the moon turned to me and asked- “But how did it feel to be loved in halves?”

I answered-

“To be loved in half was a bad compromise- oh so futile!

As if to say that this other half of me was not worthy, that this half needed some workings- oh so harsh!

This other half felt neglected, undernourished and unwatered- Left to perish!

And loving one half while berating the other felt draining.

It screamed for help, it asked for mercy, for love, for kindness (from even me) and when it got none…

It started unloving the loved half too, pulling it deep down into a dark abyss of misery and loathing.

That’s how it felt!!!

However, we just need to be seen as whole, because when we do is when we start to heal as a whole. You don’t need anyone but YOU to love yourself completely! And when you love all of you, then that will be enough!

And you will then reject being loved in halves!!!